Dr John M

cardiac electrophysiologist, cyclist, learner

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Being there…

June 17, 2012 By Dr John

In medical vernacular, we call them ‘pearls’–little nuggets of wisdom.

“John…Stop worrying about something you can’t control and hasn’t happened yet.”

Who knew a philosophy learned as a kid would play such an important role in heart doctoring?

“John…This is easy. Focus and try harder. If you can’t learn something as simple as basic Algebra…you will be in real trouble.”

This nudged me into a ‘Eureka’ moment. I learned Algebra, which then taught me something far more valuable than solving for X: That if I tried; I could learn!

“John…Tell me, what were you thinking…when you let your 15 year-old brother drive the car?”

These were three of my favorite Dad-isms. He had many.

But of course everyone knows that imparting wisdom isn’t the most important role of a Dad. It’s far simpler. The most important thing is being there. Present and steady. No, not perfect, but still there. In the morning, at supper, on the race course, day in and day out, over months and then years.

A Dad’s presence: It’s hard to value with a spreadsheet or a quality measure. You just know that it matters a lot.

Dads are not all-knowing; we come with plenty of flaws, especially the one writing at the moment. But surely we can master the most important thing:

We can be there.

My Dad was.

I try to be.

As a big picture guy, I wonder the results if more young people had the benefit of a more-present Dad?

Where would I be if my Dad didn’t nudge me to learn Algebra?

Thanks for everything Dad. It mattered.

JMM

P.S. With equal vigor, my Dad urged me to learn grammar and words. Oh, how I wish I had listened more intently to that nugget. Grin.

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Filed Under: Reflection

John Mandrola, MD

Welcome, Enjoy, Interact. john-mandrola I am a cardiac electrophysiologist practicing in Louisville KY. I am also a husband to a palliative care doctor, a father, a bike racer, and a regular columnist at theHeart.org | Medscape

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